The New Initiates
by JesseDean123
Summary: Dean Canton finds himself in Dauntless trying to escape a terrible past that Amity held. Can he make it through initiation? Can he finally be free? Can he be brave? His fears are put to the test, His mind is stretched until its close to breaking. Maybe he has finally escaped Amity. Leave reviews telling me how to improve :)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N **

**This is my first FanFic so if it sucks i apologize. The story follows a young man named Dean and his friends, I'm not quite sure if I'm doing just initiation or not. Tell what you guys think ^_^ **

**I DO NOT OWN DIVERGENT, JUST THE CHARACTERS AND PLOT IN THIS STORY.**

Chapter One: Choosing Day

My eyes remain shut although I'm awake. Maybe if I pretend that I'm asleep I won't have to choose my fate. I hear quick footsteps climbing the stairs and my door being pushed open.

"DEAN! WAKE UP!" My little sister Diana screams as she jumps onto my bed and starts jumping.

I pull the pillow over my head and sigh into it. "Stop jumping, please."

She plops down and giggles. She's only nine years old, but I swear she's had way too much amity bread.

"You know what today is?" she asks, but answers herself. "It's choosing day, you need to get up so you can show mommy and daddy that you're staying with us!"

I feel a lump in my throat and try to clear it away. I'm not staying here.

I sit up and look at her. "Please get out of my room."

She rolls her eyes and walks out, closing the door behind her.

How do they expect me to stay in Amity? I'm not a peaceful person. After learning that the Amity drugs (peace serum) their bread a year ago, I haven't eaten it. These lunatics walk around planting trees and singing cheery songs. I've had to sneak my music, the good music, since I found out what good music was. My test told me I was fit for Dauntless and that's where I'll go. Anywhere is better than here, honestly. Fucking tree huggers.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

We're standing in large room, all the teenagers choosing and their parents. The room looks like it could go on for miles but my depth perception is shit when I'm freaking out. My hands are shaking and sweaty. I try to wipe them off on my brown pants, but that only works for a second. I'm pretty sure they're dripping, actually. Maybe everyone won't mind taking a swim in my sweat.

The choosing building is in the center of the Abnegation compound, as it's also the place they hold trials and meetings. Everything is gray and bland, the Abnegation pride themselves on selflessness. I wonder if the enjoy being so colorless, or if deep down they're chanting "LET ME OUT OF HERE. NO, SCREW YOU, I DONT HAVE MILK FOR YOU!" eh... probably not.

But then again, I guess on the color spectrum, Dauntless isn't that much better. They all wear mostly black. Now and again you'll see dark shades of red or blue, but that's it. The Dauntless are fearless, though. They're brave and selfish, they are the warriors. And they sure as hell aren't peaceful warriors, at that.

Marcus, a leader of Abnegation, has all of the teenagers choosing get in a line in alphabetical order. I stand beside some Erudite boy with short, black hair like mine, and an Abnegation girl with a red face. She's just as nervous as I am. I wonder if she's leaving her family like I am. I hear Marcus babbling on about the faction system and it pulls me out of thought.

Marcus stands at a concrete podium and smiles. "Welcome to the choosing ceremony. Welcome to the day we honor the democratic philosophy of our ancestors, which tells us that every man has the right to choose his own way in this world." the factions cheer, all but Abnegation- that would be too self indulgent. The crowd hushes and Marcus continues. "Our dependents are now sixteen. They stand on the precipice of adulthood, and now it is up to them to decide what kind of people they will be." I watch him as he walks to the 5 bowls in front of us and continues. I zone out as he talks, staring at the Dauntless bowl.

Before I realize it, he's done talking. The Erudite boy beside me is called to make his choice. He seems so cool and collected, he knows where he's going. He stands in front of the bowls. Each bowl contains something to represent a faction: gray stones for Abnegation, water for Erudite, dirt for Amity, lit coals for Dauntless, and glass for Candor.

The boy picks up the knife and cuts into his palm. I watch as his eyes steady on Candor and he takes off his glasses. Slowly, he allows drops of blood to drip onto the glass and walks off to join his new faction. I guess he decided that being truthful was more important than being a smart ass.

"Dean Canton." Marcus calls out.

I walk to the bowls, my hands are still shaking and sweaty as I pick up the knife. I scan over the bowls and smile to myself as I find Dauntless. Slowly and shakily I cut into my palm and drop blood into the coals. They sizzle as if to say "welcome". The Dauntless faction yells and whistles when I join them, we sit and wait for more to join us.

The ceremony drones on and on, most of the Amity stay with their families. I guess they like the drugged bread. By the end of the ceremony we had gained quite a few initiates, including Zach, who has been my only friend in Amity. We had discussed choosing Dauntless when we were younger, but I figured he would change his mind, although he is quite the risk taker.

As we all file out, we're screaming, cheering, and clapping, the way that all Dauntless do. They lead us to the tracks. A Candor boy named Alan is at the front of the pack. You can tell that he's been jumping trains in secret. We hear the train start coming down the tracks, the whistle blowing and the rails are vibrating loudly. As the train starts passing by us, we all break into a sprint, the first on the train is the Candor boy. He makes it on with ease. Then comes my turn, I grab a handle and pull myself up. Looking behind me I see a girl from Abnegation. She's small with shoulder length brown hair. She can't quite reach the bar to pull herself up so I hold out my hand and she grabs it. I pull her up onto the car and she smiles.

"Thank you. These goddamn trains aren't small person approved!" she giggles and I smile. "I'm Ava," she shakes my hand.

"Dean." I say, watching her eyes. They're a piercing green that smile at me when she does.

"Amity?" she asks and I nod. "Abnegation."

I laugh. "I know a stiff when I see one." she glares at me jokingly.


	2. Chapter 2: Welcome to Dauntless

Chapter 2: Welcome to Dauntless.

The train is skimming past buildings when a short girl with long, black hair smiles at us with a sense of wicked in her nearly black eyes.

"You all plan on being Dauntless, huh?" she says breaking the silence and backing to the door on the train car. With a grin she says "We'll see who can make it off the train." she jumps.

We rush over and look back at her. She's standing perfectly fine on a building, motioning for us to jump as well. Noticing nobody moving, I sigh.

"If you stay on this train you're going to be factionless. So risk your death or sit here and be sent to a place that's worse than death." I say as I look at the building coming up and jump. I land on my side and feel a pain in my arm and face as I slide across the cement. The girl from before walks over and helps me up.

She studies me for a moment before turning to watch as nineteen others jump from the train. We started out with 24 just moments ago, looks like the factionless have gained four new members. Cowards.

Alan stands and dusts off his black pants, he jumped right after I did but didn't come out with a scratch. I, on the other hand, can feel the blood dripping from a cut above my eyebrow and know I'll have a bruise on my arm tomorrow.

The woman guides us to the edge of a building and looks down at the pavement that has a dark hole in it, she smirks.

"Is this the only way in?" The stiff asks.

"Is that a problem?" the woman narrows her eyes at Ava then looks around. "Who's first?"

Again, nobody is moving. I roll my eyes and step onto the ledge. Looking down, the hole seems endless. It's a dark pit of nothing. I feel the wind tugging on my yellow shirt and smile as I let myself drop. This is what it's like to be free. All I've ever wanted was to be free.

I fall onto a net and laugh, a man helps me roll off and shakes my hand.

"Welcome to dauntless." he smiles and sends me over to a wall to wait for the others.

One by one they all drop, the last being Ava. She screams until she hits the net and then sobs. The man helps her out of the net and waits for the woman. The woman drops but instead of on her back or stomach she drops feet first and hits the net like it's a trampoline. She jumps out of the net and looks us over, smiling.

"My name is Shae, I will be your trainer for the next three weeks." we clap and she leads us down a hallway. "Stage one is combat, stage two is finding your fears, and stage three is facing them." she pauses and turns to face us as she walks, "Any questions?"

A girl from Erudite with long, curly hair you could lose your hand in raises her hand and Shae chuckles.

"Yes, Erudite?"

The girl turns red and stutters. "H-How will we know what our fears are when we see them?"

Shae's face goes cold. "You'll know, trust me." with that, the girl nods and Shae leads us into a room with cots spread out.

"Pick one, it's going to be your bed for the next couple of weeks," Shae calls out. "Get changed and meet in the dining hall. You have ten minutes." she leaves and closes the door behind her, leaving us to rush for our bed. The cots would come to the hip of any other person that's 5'6 or taller, but for Ava, at about 5'1 she has some trouble.

I pick one in the corner and Zach picks the one beside me. I watch as Ava struggles to get up onto her bed which is against the wall in front of mine. She looks over at me and blushes, crossing her arms over chest. Alan walks over and sets a bucket in front of Ava's bed so she can step onto it. He smiles at her and takes the bed beside hers.

I take off my shirt and brown pants and replace them with a pair of black pants and a black, form-fitting shirt. In Amity you wore what was comfortable, which rarely meant tight. I slip on a leather jacket and look over at Alan, who is sneaking a look at Zach. I smile to myself and sit on my cot.

"So... I don't know either of you..." Ava says, watching Alan and Zach.

They shake her hand, introducing themselves. I tie my shoes thinking _life is going be okay, now._

We all stand and walk down to the dining hall. Alan is giving a piggy back ride to Ava because she's too short to see over everyone, and we don't exactly want her trampled. We sit at a table in the center and fix our plates. At Amity you didn't eat meat, it wasn't nice to kill animals. I think of this as I fix something called a hamburger.

A man with piercings in his face and a strong jaw line stands at the balcony and calls out "HEY! LISTEN UP!" he motions to a dark skinned man that has tattoos on his neck

The man speaks, his voice is deep and sounds like a hum. "I'm Max, the leader of Dauntless. I welcome all of the new initiates to hell." he smirks. "Have fun," he walks off, leaving the pierced man to speak.

"We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, and courage that drives one person to stand up for another. Respect that." the man with the piercings state. The room explodes into cheers and calms down after a moment. He continues. "Initiates, you need to be in the training room no later than eight AM and you will leave no sooner than six PM, unless you are unconscious." he smirks, the metal in his lips pulling as he does. "Be brave, be Dauntless." another cheer breaks the silence and he walks off.

"Who's that?" I say, looking at Shae, who has just sat down.

"Eric." her voice is cold as she speaks. Obviously this man is no good.

She passes me a piece of brown bread with some spread on it, I raise my eyebrow. "What is this?"

She gasps. "Have you never had cake before?"

I shake my head. "Sugar isn't good for the body... especially processed... Amity is all about natural food and being good to the body." I say mockingly as I stab the cake with a fork and mumble. "Fuck Amity." I take a bite and fall in love with Dauntless. I hear the girl from Erudite giggle. She blushes as I look at her.

"What?" I ask.

She bites at her thumb nail. "You're a mess. You do realize that you have blood on your face, right?"

I feel my face get hot as I reach up and touch the scratch from later, it's still a little bloody. I sigh and stand, Shae leads me to the infirmary. The nurse cleans the scratch that is better described as a wound. She pulls a few rocks out of it and sews it up, then smiles at me.

"You're the Amity boy, Dean, right?" she asks

I nod. "But I'm Dauntless now."

She laughs. "You'll even have a scar to prove it."

She sends me back to the dorms, but by the time I'm there, everyone is in a circle talking and getting acquainted. I sit between the Erudite girl and Zach, seeing how that's the only other place to sit, and realize I trapped myself in a game of Candor or Dauntless. _Fuck._

A Candor boy named Damian looks at me and grins. "Candor or Dauntless, Dean?"

"Candor." I sigh.

He clears his throat. "A few years back I heard a story of a rape in Amity, a boy's uncle was executed because he had been raping the boy since he was 6. The name of the boy was Dean Canton. What is your last name?"

My face turns red and I can feel my hands shaking, I look around and open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Instead I stand and walk out of the dormitory. _I am not free._


	3. Chapter 3: Free

Chapter 3: Free.

I walk quickly away from the dorm, I'm not sure where I'm going but I know I don't want to be here. I came here to get rid of Amity but it seems to follow me everywhere. I find my way to the chasm and listen as the water crashes into anything it can touch. I lean over the railing and look down into the water. I heard that last year a guy was going to fail initiation and chucked himself over the ledge, I don't think he was alive after that.

"Planning on going for a swim?" Alan asks as he walks up beside me.

I shake my head no, although it is tempting.

"Zach beat the living shit out of him..."

"Oh?" I raise my eyebrow. Zach knew about it, he was the only person I told, he told my parents.

Alan nodded and continued. "Damian's face is pretty busted up. His nose looked broken."

I sink down and let my feet dangle over the chasm, Alan sits beside me and we stay silent for what feels like forever.

"Candor or Dauntless?" he says, breaking the silence.

"Dauntless." I look at him. His hair was a dark brown and his pale green eyes were fixed on the water. He had a soft jaw line and a curved nose, his skin was tan but not too dark. He didn't look Candor, he looked Dauntless.

"Come get a tattoo with me." Alan stands and helps me up.

"Excuse me?" I ask.

"Do you really not know what a tattoo is?" he starts walking

"I know what a tattoo is." I glare.

"Then what's the problem?" he laughs.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

We sit in chairs across from each other with tiny machines attached to our forearms. The lady said that a hundred years ago tattoo artists used needles to give tattoos, but now it's more like a printer. The machine was only the size of my hand and it stung a little but it was bearable.

"Candor or Dauntless?" I ask him, watching the tattoo printer light up and go dark again.

"Candor." he replies after thinking for a moment.

"Do you like men?" I blurt out, not thinking about what I'm asking.

I look up at him, he stays silent and doesn't make eye contact. Finally he nods and looks at me.

"Candor or Dauntless?" he asks quietly.

"Candor."

"What's your last name?"

I look down and close my eyes. "Canton."

A girl walks in and removes the machines from our arms. We stand and look at the ink on our forearms, across mine in an old type writer font it reads "Free". On his in the same font it reads "Dauntless". We smile at each other and walk out.

"Candor or Dauntless?" he asks.

"Dauntless." I say, even though it's technically my turn.

"Go back to the dorm and continue playing the game."

I look at him and nod.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

I stop at the door to the dorm, everyone is still playing the game but go silent when they notice me. Zach stands and takes me out of the room, he hugs me tightly. Out of all the people in my life I know that he is the most understanding. When I told him about my uncle he did the same as he is doing now, hugging me like a mother would.

"He's in the infirmary." he says as he lets go of me, knowing that I've never been much of a hugger. He holds up his right hand to show that his knuckles are bruised. "I told the others that if they said anything they would wind up with a butter knife in their eye like that other guy did last year." he chuckles.

I nod and watch him.

He smiles painfully. "I can't let my little brother get hurt, again."

He has always blamed himself. I remember when I told him, he started crying and saying he was sorry. That he should have noticed.

He took me back inside and we sat back down in the circle, everyone was trying not to make eye contact with me. Finally, the Erudite girl broke the silence.

"Zach, Candor or Dauntless?"


	4. Chapter 4: Combat

Chapter 4: Combat.

"Wake up you lazy asses! You have ten minutes to get to training and none of you are even awake." Shae sighs. "This is going to be a hard day."

I wipe the sleep from my eyes and yawn. It's a good thing I slept in my clothes last night. Looking over at Zach, I notice he's still asleep and grin. Ava hands me a sock he kicked off last night and I wave it in his face.

"No... I don't wanna take out the trash... No..." Zach says groggily, waving his hand in front of his face.

Alan sighs and leans down, whispering something in Zach's ear. After a minute of the whispering his eyes open wide and he looks at Alan, Zach blinks. Alan stands straight up and turns back to his cot, stripping out of his pajamas and getting dressed in black pants and a black shirt. Ava looks at me and raises her eyebrow. I grin and head out of the dorm.

The training room is dark and looks like it was etched into stone, just like the rest of the Dauntless compound. There are targets that are in the shape of a person lining the back wall, punching bags along the side walls, and a stage with rope around it in the middle. By the door is a long chalkboard. I haven't seen a chalkboard in real life before, only in photographs and movies.

I stand by the chalkboard reading the names, I only recognize a few. Beside each name is a letter that represents which faction we came from, I skim through each name and put the names with faces. The other transfers nearly sprint in and Shae closes the door.

"Just in time!" she laughs. "I suggest sleeping in the clothes you train in. It makes initiation so much easier in the mornings." She looks us over nodding as she does. "It looks like everyone is here. Lets begin." Shae leads us to the back where there are targets and instructs us to pick a gun. Once we all find a suitable gun we stand in front of a target.

We stand there, not sure what to do.

"Do I have to tell you guys everything?" Shae sighs.

Jane, the curly haired Erudite girl, speaks up. "Well, not to be rude or disrespectful, but yeah. You kinda have to."

Shae laughs. "Watch it Jane, if you make me laugh while I'm holding a gun you might lose a foot."

I hear Jane swallow hard and turn back to the target.

Shae picks up a gun and walks to an empty target. She stands with her feet shoulder length apart and takes in a breath, as she exhales she pulls the trigger and the bullet hits the target in the center. Shae smiles at us and bows while we cheer.

She steps away and I look at my target. The gun feels light in my hands as I point it at the target. I close my left eye, and line the gun up with the center of the target. I take in a deep breath and hold it for a moment, relaxing my shoulders. I pull the trigger and let the breath out slowly, the bullet hits the direct center of the target and Shae claps.

"First jump and first bulls-eye, I'm impressed, Dean." She says with a smile. "Never expected that from an Amity Transfer."

I bite my lip and look back at the target, smiling as I see the wound in the center. _This is what pride feels like_.

I hear a sigh come from Jane who is standing beside me trying to shoot at her target. Her hair is pulled back in a knot and strands have fallen in her face. She's holding the gun with one hand and trying to shoot with her shoulders pulled up nearly to her ears. She hasn't made a shot this entire exercise, where as I've been shooting through the same hole the entire time.

"Relax your shoulders." I say to her, she looks at me confused. I shake my head and set my gun down on the table in front of me then stand behind her. "Relax." I put my hands on her shoulders and she lets them fall slowly. I take her left hand and put it on the gun and adjust her standing position so her weight is distributed evenly. I aim the gun for her, and talk softly. "Take a deep breath and release it slowly when you pull the trigger." She nods and draws in a deep breath, I feel her shoulder blades press against my chest. "Shoot." I say. She pulls the trigger and lets the breath out slowly, her bullet hits above the center.

"Thank you." She smiles at me and blushes then bites her thumb nail.

I shake my head and smile back. "No problem."

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

After we had all shot a bulls-eye we were released for lunch. Ava was riding piggy back on Alan who was running down the hall screaming "CAKKKKEEEEEEE!" It was pretty impressive, actually.

Zach nudged me and smiled. "Nice shot. I didn't think you had it in you."

"Thanks." I smiled. "Hey, can you tell me what Alan was saying to you this morning?"

He blushed. "I- uh- don't know." He was stuttering so I shoved him jokingly.

"Was he whispering sweet nothings?" I say in my softest, girliest voice possible, which is hard when your voice is so deep you sound like you're humming 70% of the time.

He blushed deeper and looked away.

"You know if you like him there's nothing wrong with it, right?" I watched him. "I'm pretty sure he has a thing for you too." Before he could respond I ran to catch up with Alan so he couldn't eat all the cake.


	5. Chapter 5: Be Brave

**HELLO! My editor was busy today so the next two chapters will be edited by me, that should explain why there will be**

**punctuation errors. Don't judge me. Thank you to the people that read this Fanfic, it makes me smile when the numbers go up. **

**Leave me some reviews telling me what I can improve on ^_^ I accept all criticism. **

**ENJOY!**

Chapter 5: Be Brave.

"I thought trainers at Dauntless were suppose to be mean." Jane says as she takes another bite of cake.

"Would you rather I shoot your foot off now or later?" Shae looks at her, her face serious.

Jane blushes and starts biting at her thumb nail.

"I'm not really a mean person unless I get pissed off. People describe me as a cold hearted bitch on a regular basis, though." She says as she steals cake off of Ava's plate.

Ava watches her and rolls her eyes. "If you wanted more cake I could have gotten up and got you some."

Shae clears her throat. "Then go get yourself another piece, stiff." She grins playfully, the lip rings in her mouth pulling slightly.

Ava sighs and walks away to get herself more cake.

I feel fingers run over the tattoo on my forearm and look at Jane, she bites her lip and looks at me like she was caught stealing.

I smile. "What?"

"Did it hurt?" she asked, her voice shaky.

I shook my head. "It was more of a sting."

"I want one but I'm scared my skin will melt off. Have you seen those damn machines?" she smiles.

"I can take you, if you want."

she nods and stands, I follow her out of the dining hall and to the tattoo parlor. She stops at the entrance and looks around nervously. "Are you sure my skin wont melt off?"

"Positive." I laugh and pull her in by her shirt.

She lays back on a cot and pulls up her tank top till it exposes her ribs, the tattoo artist attaches the machine to her skin with adhesive and turns it on. The machine lights up and beeps and Jane's eyes get wide. I smile and lean back in my chair.

"What are you getting?" I ask, watching her eyes wander around the room.

"Be brave." she looks at me, biting her lip.

"Why?" I raise my eyebrow.

"I'm always scared."

"You don't need to be scared, Jane."

She nods and closes her eyes, the machine lights up the skin on her ribs. After twenty minutes of silence the Tattoo artist comes in and removes the machine to reveal cursive lettering spelling "Be brave." surrounded in flames. Jane stand and walks over to a mirror to look at it. I watch as she smiles and pulls her shirt back down. She turns to face me, biting her thumb nail.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" I smile at her and she shakes her head, blushing.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

{Janes POV}

I sit next to Dean in the Dauntless pub, he ordered us something with vodka in it, it tastes strange and its making me a little happy.

"Have you seen Damian?" I ask him as I turn to face him on my bar stool, he shakes his head and smiles at me.

"He hasn't been in the dorms, I'm pretty sure hes still unconscious." He says as he takes a sip of his drink.

I nod, watching him. He has short black hair and light blue eyes, hes a good six inches taller than I am and because hes Amity born, he spent most of his time outside so he's tan. He looks at me and I feel my face get hot, I start chewing on my thumb nail, I always do this when I'm nervous. He helped me figure out how to shoot a gun, the loud noises scare the shit out of me but I managed to get a bulls-eye. There's no doubt in my mind that I will wind up factionless, everything scares me. I was terrified to get a tattoo, but somehow I got over that so maybe ill pull through in the end.

I finish off my drink and go to stand but quickly realize that wasn't a good idea as I fall and grab onto his arm. He pulls me back up and chuckles.

"c'mon, lets get you back to the dorm." He picks me up bridal style and starts carrying me through the hallway. Looking up at him I notice a 5 o'clock shadow, I smile and for some reason my hand reaches out to touch his chin. I quickly pull my hand back and he smiles, shaking his head. _Did I do something wrong?_

He carries me into the dorm room and sets me on my cot, the lights are on and I feel everyone look at us as he tucks me in. _He's a nice boy. _I feel my arms reach out for him and my hand grab his, I smile and try to not look as stupid as I think I already do. "Thank you." I say quietly.

He nods and smiles, I let go of his hand and he walks away. _He has a nice butt too._

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

{deans POV}

Jane lets go of my hand and I walk to my cot. I never realized how beautiful she was, her eyes have like a million colors in them and she is so pale she's almost translucent. Her smile is perfect and the way she bites her nail when shes nervous makes my hands sweat. Is that normal?

"Where have you been?" Ava asks tapping her foot like an impatient mother. "First Zach and Alan go missing and now you. You boys are going to drive me insane!" she cracks a smile, she really does sound like a mother.

"I was out with a friend, mom. We went and got a drink." I smile back.

She makes a _humph_ sound and climbs into her cot, the lights are turned off and I hear the door open quietly. Two male forms walk in, Alan and Zach. They walk over to the cots and Alan lays down, zach leans down and kisses him.

"Ew, cooties." I say like a child, Alan throws one of Zachs socks at me and I flail. They both laugh and I turn over, soon I drift off to sleep. _Maybe I am free._


	6. Chapter 6: Don't Lose

**I took a nap and woke up right before it was time to post the second chapter for today. I woke up to a review that made me smile. I'm not sure when I want to end this story yet but I know there will be another story after I finish this one that will follow the same group of people. I'm not going to spoil it though :) Thank you to my readers, my numbers nearly double everyday and it makes me the happiest writer in the world. Enjoy!**

**Again, my editor is busy today but I didn't want to go a day without an update so this is poorly edited by me. **

**-Jesse. **

Chapter 6: Don't Lose.

We stand around a stage with rope around it, Shae said its where we will be testing our one on one combat training. She has a list of partners and is standing in the center.

"I have paired you up based on your skill level, those closer to the top of the list will be first, those near the bottom will be last. I suggest that if you're near the bottom you give it your all, because tonight we will cut two people. That means the ending of week one is upon us." She smiles at us. "Good luck."

I look over to the door as it opens and Damian walks in, I let out a sigh. He has a bandage over his nose that takes up almost half of of his face, Zach suppresses a laugh and I elbow him in the ribs trying to suppress my own laugh. Damian hands Shae a piece of paper and she looks concerned.

"Are you sure you can fight today?" She asks and he nods. "You're not even on the list, you haven't been here all week."

"Just let me fight." He growls.

"Very well. Dean and Damian, you're first." She calls out.

I step onto the stage and look Damian over, grinning. "Nice nose, did you just get it done?"

He glares and lunges towards me.

"HEY! I did not say go!" Shae yells at him. Damian steps back, not taking his eye off of me. "Go." She sighs.

He lunges at me again but step out of the way and he punches air, I take that give and knee him in the stomach. He falls to the floor and coughs.

"You're not unconscious, get up." Shae says from the sidelines.

Damian stands and gets back into position. "Tell me, Dean, did he give you a pet name?" I lunge at him and he moves so I hit the air beside his face. "Did he give you a treat afterwords?" I lunge at him again but miss. He laughs. "Did you like it?" He blocks my next shot to his face, grabs my arm and flips me on my back. I feel his fist crash against my face multiple times, my vision starts going spotty. _You cant lose, Dean. Don't lose. _Another hard blow, I feel the blood pouring from my nose and taste it in my mouth. Don't_ lose. _I scream and flip us over so I'm on top of him, I punch him repeatedly in the nose and he yells out in pain. Damian tries to kick me off but I don't budge. He stops moving after I hit him one last time.

Shae jumps up on the platform and I fall to my knees. She checks his pulse and smiles at me. "Take him to the infirmary, he's unconscious."

I watch her but she starts to go blurry, then everything goes Black.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

I Open my eyes and everything is fuzzy, I blink the confusion away and sit up. I feel a soft hand on my chest to lay me back down and see its Jane. She smiles at me and I try to smile back but feel something disgusting in my mouth, like a pillow.

"Its cotton, your mouth was bleeding." She watches as I take the ball out of my mouth and toss it in the garbage can.

"Where am I?" I say, looking around, I'm in a white room that smells like a disinfectant factory.

"Infirmary, you passed out after the fight. They say that nothing is broken you had just exhausted yourself." Jane bites her lip.

I close my eyes, my head is pounding so hard I can hear it. She sets a cool cloth on my forehead and look at her, she smiles and blushes.

"Ah! You're awake! Well good morning sunshine!" A nurse says as she walks in. "How does your head feel?" she stands by my bed and smiles, checking the machines I was hooked up to and taking me off of each one.

"Like I was pummeled by a thousand bricks." I try to laugh but it hurts so it comes out as a wheeze.

She laughs and hands me a glass of clear liquid that smells like cherries. "It'll make the pain go away."

I drink it and hand the glass back to her. Instantly all the pain goes away and I sit up.

"I suggest no heavy lifting or training. Good news is, the combat part of initiation was over today. Correct?" She looks at Jane who is helping me stand. Jane nods and bites her thumb nail.

"Then training wont be a problem." The nurse smiles at us and walks out.

"When do we know our placement on the board?" I ask Jane as she walks me out of the infirmary.

She smiles. "I'll take you now."

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

1: Zach

2: Dean

3: Alan

4: Ava

5: Jane

6: Louise

7: Damian

8:James

9: Naomi

I turn and face Shae. "Why the fuck does he stay?"

She doesn't look surprised. "He wasn't given the time he needed to show reliability. He will be training with Eric and he will give us a report next week to tell us if Damian should stay or not." She sounds like she's mocking someone, she not happy about this either.

I nod and turn my attention to Ava, She has a busted lip and a swollen cheek, she smiles at me like she doesn't even notice. "Who'd you fight?" I ask, holding back a smile.

"Jane. She has a wicked right swing." Ava giggles as she tries to demonstrate how she was hit.

"How are you above her if you lost?" My eyebrow raises with confusion.

"She didn't. I went 'unconscious' after she elbowed me in the throat." Jane does air quotes around unconscious, she let Ava win.

I smile and look around. I made it, second ranking, I might make it into Dauntless if I get through the next two weeks. Just two more weeks and I can say goodbye to Amity for good.

"If you're the last two places, I'm sorry, but go get your things. The train will be passing in twenty minutes, you better hurry." Shae says quietly as she shakes her head and leaves.


	7. Chapter 7: Of Course

A/N MY EDITOR IS BACK! But She is sick :( FEEL BETTER KAEY!

I would like to apologize for going missing, yesterday I slept all day and today I was cleaning. Three chapters will be posted within' the next few hours to make up for this. This one is VERY short, my shortest so far. There are things I wanted to keep separate from chapter 8. Chapter 8 will be longer, though, I pinkey promise!

-Jesse

Chapter 7: Of course.

Today Shae told us that we had the day off from training so everyone got to do their own thing. Alan has plans with Zach, and Ava has plans with the training room, leaving Jane and I at a table in the dining hall.

"What are you doing today?" She asks as she takes a sip of orange juice.

"I'm not sure. I was thinking about just wandering around, there's so much to see." I bite into an apple.

"I was wanting to go zip lining tonight, I heard one of the Dauntless born mention it." She pauses and bites her thumb nail. "I don't really want to go alone, though." Jane looks at me.

"I'll go with you, if you want." I say without thinking. _Dammit, those eyes._

She smiles and blushes. "Really?"

"Yeah, sure, why not?" I can't back out now.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

"Hey!" I feel Alan pat my back, pulling me out of thought. "Whatcha' doing tonight?" He sits beside me on the walkway over the chasm.

"Falling to my death, you?" I say, still starring at the water.

"What?"

"Sorry, zip lining." I smile at him and he shakes his head, laughing.

"I have a date with Zach." He looks at the water and smiles.

"Oh?" I raise an eyebrow and nudge him.

Alan nods and nudges back. "He didn't really say it was a date, though. He just asked if I wanted to go to the pub." He looks at me. "Does that mean a date?"

I shrug. "Maybe."

Alan stands and stretches. "I better get going. I wanted to talk to Shae about tomorrow before I have to meet Zach."

He walks off and leaves me by the chasm.

Was I going on a date tonight? _No, I offered to go with her. _But she didn't say no. Would I want to go on a date with her? She's pretty and nice, she doesn't seem to be scared of me or the things she's heard. But given the chance, would I go out on a date with her? I turn this question over and over in my head, I can't help but smile. _Of course._

I look up and see Ava sweaty and exhausted, she sits beside me and leans against me. "Next time I say, 'Hey, I'm gonna go run a few miles and let Shae beat the hell out of me,' remind me that I'm lazy." She laughs and looks at me.


	8. Chapter 8: Dont Jump

A/N Making out happens in this chapter, I'm not sure if that okay with this rating but I'm gonna just go with it.

I will update again in the morning, my editor is tired and sick. I will be posting 3 chapters tomorrow (technically today EST).

-Jesse

Chapter 8: Don't Jump.

"Hey." Jane says as she walks up to me. "Ready?"

We're standing on top of a building that has harnesses that are the size of a body scattered everywhere and a line of wire connecting the building to the dark sky. I look over the edge and can't see the ground, my heart starts to pound. I wonder what would happen if I leaped off.

I hear her chuckle as she grabs my forearm. "Don't jump."

I smile, and lie. "Wasn't even thinking about it."

She holds up a harness. "You first?" I shake my head and she shrugs. Jane hooks her harness up and slips into it face down, looking forward. I strap her in and she smiles at me. "Don't chicken out, if I can do it, so can you." With that she pushes herself forward and disappears into the dark.

I sigh and put myself in the harness, strapping myself in tight. Looking down at the ground I feel my stomach flip. _I'm going to die. _I shake the thought from my head and push myself forward. I'm flying through the air so fast I hear it. The sound whipping in my ears, the sky is so dark I can't see but two inches in front of me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before opening them again, this time accompanied by street lights from the Dauntless compound. The lights are small, proving to me how high up I am. I let my arms out and laugh. _I'm flying. _The dark slowly comes back and I can't see anything. I feel a scream forming in my throat but bite it back. Suddenly, I see a light shining on a surface I'm headed towards. As I get closer I realize it's a concrete building. _I'm going to slam into this wall. I'm going to die at sixteen. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. _The wall creeps closer. _I'm going to die. _I'm getting so close I can feel the pain of crashing, every bone breaking. _I'm going to die. _I can taste the salty blood in my mouth from hitting the wall head on. _I'm going to die._

The line stops me, my nose centimeters away from touching the cement, I blink. _I'm alive._

I unstrap myself and fall to the ground, landing on my feet, Jane smiles at me. "Have fun?"

"Loads." I laugh, my jaw sore from gritting my teeth.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

I feel her hand slip into mine as we walk on a dark trail back to headquarters. Her hand is soft and shaking, I can tell she's scared so I don't pull away. Once we step into the building and head to the pit where it's light again she lets go.

"Sorry." Jane bites her thumb nail and looks down.

"Don't be." I smile and walk her to the dining hall, I can't help but notice how empty my hand feels.

We sit at a table with plates of food. Ava sits beside us and steals a French fry off of my plate.

"Where have you two been?" Ava asks.

"Zip lining." Jane giggles and takes one as well.

"Will you both let a man have his food," I laugh, and they simultaneously hold up their hands, dropping the fries on the floor.

"Was it fun?" Ava asks as she takes another fry and flicks my forehead when I open my mouth to protest.

"So much fun, we should go again. I wanted to go again but mister scared ass wouldn't go." Jane says as she looks at me.

"What are you so scared of?" Ava looks at me.

I shrug and look up from my plate as I feel Jane's foot on my calf, we blush.

Ava sighs and stands. "Have you seen Alan and Zach?"

"No." I say looking up at Ava, feeling Jane's foot move up to my knee, my leg starts shaking and Jane giggles.

"I wonder why my children always run away, am I a terrible mother?" She says jokingly.

"Terrible. You should put leashes on us." My voice shakes as her foot stops at my thigh.

Ava raises her eyebrow at us and shakes her head. She walks off and I look at Jane, who is smiling and eating. _She's evil, I like it._

Her foot moves back down and rests against mine. She smiles up at me and takes a French fry, this time I don't have the voice to stop her. We stand and clear our plates, I take them to the busser and walk back to her. We wander through the maze of hallways until we're lost, she gets scared and grabs my hand, I lace my fingers with hers and she blushes.

Slowly we find our way back to the chasm and she leans back against the railing, still holding my hand, although it's fully lit.

"Did you really have fun tonight?" She asks, watching me.

I nod, standing in front of her. "I did. I was scared, but I had fun."

She smiles. "It's nice not being the scared one."

I watch her smile and get lost. My feet make me step closer to her and my eyes look up into hers, she blushes. "Sorry." I start to step back when she grabs the front of my shirt.

"Don't pull away, you're doing fine." Jane says, looking up into my eyes.

I nod and lean my face closer to hers. She moves her hand up my chest and to the back of my neck, pulling my face closer. Jane smiles and kisses me slowly as I wrap my arm around her and kiss back. Her fingers lace themselves into my hair and I feel her sigh into the kiss, we smile.

She breaks the kiss and smiles at me, my face still close to hers. "I had a lot of fun tonight, Dean."

I blush and watch her, smiling. "Good."

She looks down and bites her thumb nail, blushing. I pull my body from hers and she looks over the edge into the water.

"Again sometime?" I ask and she nods.

"Of course."

She takes my hand again and we walk towards the dorm. We hear kissing sounds and turn to look down the hallway. Zach has Alan against a wall and they are playing tongue hockey. We watch as Alan moves his hand up Zach's shirt, and hear a sigh come from them both. Jane giggles and they stop. They look at us and immediately separate.

"Get a room!" She yells out, giggling.

I pull her into the dorm where everyone is asleep in their cots, the room is dark. I lead her to her cot, pick her up, and set her on it. She pulls me to her and kisses me deeply, taking off my shirt. I lift my arms and kiss back, letting her. Jane hugs my shirt to her and smiles at me.

"You may go to sleep now." She says against my lips.


	9. Chapter 9: Second Stage Of Initiation

Chapter 9: Second Stage Of Initiation.

{DEANS POV}

I open my eyes and look down, dangling from the wire Jane and I zip lined across. The ground looks like a dark abyss. No street lights to show how far up I am, no windows on the buildings to count how many stories I'm hanging from. I feel the wire cutting into my palms and close my eyes. I hear a voice from nowhere in particular.

"Calm your heart rate, try to slow it down." It says soothingly.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to ignore the stinging in my palms. I concentrate on my breathing, taking slow, deep breaths in through my nose and out of my mouth. The stinging disappears and I open my eyes to see I'm surrounded by a room smaller in size but identical to the training room. Shae looks at me and peels the censors off of our foreheads.

"What do you think that meant?" She asks, watching me sit up.

"Heights." I check my palms and see they aren't bleeding, I sigh in relief.

She nods. "Good job. You were in there for about thirteen minutes."

"Is that good?" I look at her and she nods again.

Shae directs me to the door and I walk out.

{JANES POV}

I watch Dean walk out of the simulation room, his forehead has sweat on it and he looks like he hadn't slept in a few days, which is impossible because I heard him scream in panic when Zach waved a sock in his face this morning to wake him up.

"Jane, you're up." Shae calls out from the doorway.

I stand and walk into the room, she tells me to sit and I comply.

"This is a simulation serum." She holds up a syringe with an orange liquid in it. "It will make you experience your worst fears, they wont be in a particular order." She moves the hair away from my neck and injects me with it. "You need to slow your heart beat and breathing or find a way out. Good luck." Shae puts a censor on my forehead and hers. I look down at the black shirt I'm wearing, its a little big but it smells like Dean. I take in a deep breath.

I'm standing in my kitchen, making dinner.

"Jane!" A familiar voice calls out, I look down to see my little brother holding his arms out to me.

I smile and set him on the counter by the stove. He was always on the counter while I cooked, that's how he died. He was two and I was eight, I was making him his dinner and he fell. I shake the thought from my head and ruffle his hair.

"Can I have milk?" He smiles at me.

"Yes, you may." I turn to the refrigerator and reach in but pause when I hear a thump. I turn to look at what fell and he lays on the floor, his head leaving a puddle of blood on the tile. I sink to the floor and hug my knees. _Why wasn't I watching him. Why didn't I save him. _

His body stands and he looks at me. "Why weren't you watching me?"

I shake my head and he steps closer. "Why didn't you save me?" Tears are brimming in my eyes as I watch him move closer.

"WHY WEREN'T YOU WATCHING ME?" He starts screaming, his face close to mine, I start shaking.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME?" His voice rings in my ears and I kick him in his stomach so he falls backwards. I find my way to my feet and run out the front door of my old Erudite home.

Suddenly I'm back in the simulation room and Shae is starring at me. She blinks and takes the censor off of my forehead, I bite my thumb nail.

"What do you think that means?" She finally speaks, her voice hoarse.

I shrug. "I'm the reason for his death."

She nods and helps me stand. "You do know it wasn't your fault though, right?" I look down at the floor and nod. "Sometimes things happen and there is no explanation for it. We can only hope that one day we will get over it." she smooths my hair back like a friend.

Shae guides me out the back door and gives me directions to the pit.

{DEANS POV}

"What were you scared of?" Ava asks as she takes a drink of a fizzy liquid.

"Heights." I say as I look up to see the reaction.

She just shrugs and takes another sip. "Fireflies."

I laugh but hide it with a cough, she glares.

Jane sits beside us and rests her head on the table, letting out a sigh. Shes wearing my shirt, I cant help but smile.

"Rough time?" Ava asks her and holds out a piece of chocolate.

Jane nods and sits up. She takes the chocolate and pops it in her mouth then smiles at me.

"What was it?"

"It doesn't matter." Jane says as she shakes her head.

Whatever it was must still be bothering her, her leg is shaking the table.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

Everyone in initiation is sitting the dining hall, silent. Our fears are all getting to us, some are terrified of minuscule things but they are still tiring and traumatic. I look around and finally realize something I should have noticed before. _Not all of us are going to make it. _Only ten of us will be here in two weeks, the others will be factionless.


	10. Chapter 10: Stop

**A/N My editor is still sick :( This chapter is probably not suitable for rape victims or those who are deeply troubled by it. I guess that means this is a *trigger warning*.**

-Jesse

Chapter 10: Stop.

The group of transfer initiates all sit in the hallway outside the simulation room, we've been at this for a few days now. I've discovered I'm scared of spiders, being alone and not having a way to defend myself. Shae says that we aren't going to find out all of our fears but we'll know some of them. I look over at Ava who is nervously pulling at a loose string in her shirt and Jane, who sits beside her, biting her thumb nail.

Shae opens the door and lets Alan walk out, I watch as he aimlessly walks down the hall and turn my attention back to Shae who smiles and motions for me to come in.

"The fifth day is always the hardest." She says as I sit down in the chair. "Normally you experience your worst fear." She grabs the syringe and smiles at me. "Don't worry, it'll be over in a moment." Shae sticks the needle in my neck and pushes the plunger down.

I'm in my old bedroom, alone. I look around at all the photographs and posters,somethings wrong, I can sense it. I whip my head towards the door as it opens and a man walks in. He's tall with a bald head, hes dressed in an Amity yellow shirt and red pants. He starts to take off his belt.

"Don t wake your sister, I just got her to bed." He says as he unbuttons his pants.

I back my way to the wall and he watches me, his eyes greedily scanning my every movement. He steps towards me, picks me up and throws me on the floor.

" Stop!" I scream out and he slaps me.

"Shut up!" He spits as he rips off my pants.

I feel another slap but it isn't coming from him. I open my eyes just before Shae slaps me again, I'm shaking, my throat is raw from screaming. Shae looks shocked and throws her arms around me.

"I'm so sorry." I hear her whisper, she's crying.

I close my eyes and let out a breath I had been holding, my body stops shaking.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

Shae explained to me that the simulation was suppose to end if my heartbeat got too fast but there was a malfunction and she knew I wasn't going to calm down, that's why she was slapping me. She said that she wasn't a fan of watching me relive through that, either. I stand in the training room, practicing my shots, trying to drone the simulation out when I feel a strong hand on my shoulder. I turn quickly, grabbing the hand and flipping the man, before I realize it I have Zach at gun point.

"WOAH!" He shouts. "HOLD UP!"

I put the gun on the table and help him up. "Sorry."

He shakes his head and looks at me. "What was it?" He asks.

"It doesn't matter." I turn and face the target.

"Was it him?" He watches me, I nod. "He's far away from here, Dean." Zach pauses. "He cant hurt you."

I nod.

"Talk to me."

"About what?" I pick the gun up and put it on the stand.

"Why were you with Jane the other night?" He smirks.

"We went out." I look at him.

"Out?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

"Yes, zip lining. And she stole my shirt." I chuckle and lean against the table, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I know the feeling." He blushes and smiles. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

"Yeah."

"About anything."

"I know." I sigh.

"Good." He pats my back and walks out.

XxX {PAGE BREAK}XxX

{JANES POV}

Sitting in the pit I cant get the sound of Deans muffled screams out of my head, they were so loud you could hear them in the hallway. He didn't walk out of the hall door so she must have let him out the back. How can a man, so strong, be so scared? Its frightening.

Alan sits beside me and sighs. "Not making it into Dauntless, you?"

"Being disowned." I look down.

"Visiting day is tomorrow." He looks at me and I nod. "I don't think my parents will come."

"Why not?" I look up at him, his mouth is turned down at the corners and his eyes have dark circles around them, simulation is taking a tole on him.

"They didn't approve on me leaving Candor, said it was dishonest." He shakes his head. "They didn't even look at me when we left the choosing ceremony."

"Maybe they've come around." I say, watching him rub his face with his hands.

" I doubt it."


	11. Chapter 11: Visiting Day

**A/N These past couple have been heavy in dialogue, I apologize. This one is kinda short due to said dialogue. Next chapter they will be starting the final week of initiation! I still haven't decided on when to end this yet, It will be a little after initiation. **

**Thank you for the reviews and views. Tell me what you think should happen during the final stage!**

**-Jesse**

Chapter 11: Visiting Day.

I already knew, before walking into the pit, that my parents weren't coming today. Visiting day was the day before the third week of initiation began, we had the day off to spend with our family and get ready to physically face our fears. I take my time in the shower and getting dressed this morning, I'm in no hurry. I step out of the shower and walk down to the dorm and put on the usual black pant and black shirt.

"Hey." Alan says as he walks in and sits on his cot.

"Wheres your family?" I ask, sitting beside him.

"Not here, they weren't happy about me transferring." He looks down. "Yours?"

"They aren't big on Dauntless or leaving Amity. They're all about peace and love and drugged bread." I say without thinking, like a knee jerk reaction.

"Drugged bread?" He looks at me in confusion.

"Yeah, Amity puts the peace serum in their bread." I smile and he laughs.

"Seriously?" He says, still laughing and I nod.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

Alan and I walk into the pit and sit in the corner, watching all the Dauntless smiling and hugging their families. I scan the crowed and see Jane standing in the center of it, hugging herself, her eyes darting at every sound. Alan nudges me and I walk towards her, grab her hand, and pull her out to where Alan and I were.

"Thank you." She says, biting her thumb nail.

"No problem." I smile. "Family?"

"Somewhere in there." She motions to the mess.

I look around and see a woman in a blue dress with curly hair identical to Jane's and a man in a blue button up and white pants. I point at them and she smiles.

"Mom, Dad!" She calls out and they walk over.

Her dad had dark brown hair and hazel eyes just like hers, his jaw line was strong and his nose was crooked. He was looking around like he was in a room of monkeys when his eyes fall on Alan and I. "Whose this?" He asks.

"This is Dean and this is Alan." she points to us as she says our names.

"Anyone special?" Her mom asks and Jane's face turns red.

"Why do you ask?" Jane stutters.

"Just a question, anyone I should meet?" Her dad asks, his voice hard but full of curiosity. He isn't particularly scary but I find myself panicking.

"Well, uhm-" I cut her off as she turns to me.

"I'll go get drinks." I walk off and pull Alan with me.

We're about halfway through the pit when Zach waves us over, he's standing with his mom, I guess his dad didn't come. His mom is dressed in a long, red, cotton dress and has her black hair pulled back in a knot. I drag Alan towards them, knowing that was why he wanted us to come over.

"Dean!" His mom throws her arms around me and hugs me so tight I cant breathe. It takes her moment but she eventually releases me and smiles as she smooths my hair.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet someone." He grabs Alans hand before he can escape and pulls him forward.

"So you're the boy I've been hearing about the past twenty minutes." She smiles and hugs him like he's an old friend.

Alan stiffens up, he's use to hand shakes, not Amity hugs. "Uh, yeah, I guess so."

Zachs mom smiles at them both. "Well, treat my son well." She hugs Zach. "I must go, now. Your father would be concerned if I didn't come home before dark." She kisses his cheek. "I love you, be safe." With that she walks away, I watch her as she walks through the pit and down a hallway, she's been here before.

"Was your mom Dauntless?" I look at Zach.

"Yeah, I think so." He shrugs, Alan kisses his cheek and smiles.

"She's nice." Alan says.

I notice a hand on my forearm and look back, Jane smiles at me. "Get lost?"

"No, I got distracted. I was almost squeezed to death, you missed it." I laugh.

"They just left so I guess you're off the hook." She blushes.

I walk her out of the pit, her arm around mine. "What did you tell them?"

"That there was a nice boy here. I didn't drop a name, don't worry." She giggles.

I look at her. "A nice boy?

"You." She looks at me and bites her lip.


	12. Chapter 12: Deans Fear Landscape

**A/N I'm planning on updating either later tonight with Janes Fear Landscape and someone else, but that person is a secret. **

**Do you guys think its a good idea to do the landscapes this way? It was fun to write. **

**-Jesse**

Chapter 12: Deans Fear Landscape.

{Deans Pov}

Waking up this morning was hard. I knew that today I would have to face all of my fears, including my uncle. Today was the last day of initiation, tonight we would know who stays and who goes. Shae has been putting us through our Fear Landscapes every day this week, but today will be the first time that the leaders watch us. She explained that we need to use whats around us to get out of the situation, once the fear is destroyed we will move on to the next one. She said that it can also happen when you calm down but due to the content in mine its hard to calm down.

I push myself out of the cot and stretch, today is the last day we will all share a room so everyone is packing. I throw all of my stuff into a provided duffel bag which isn't hard, most of us only have a few things to wear, but for Ava she needs a second duffel.

"You can be bad ass and look good." I hear her voice say in my head, I smile and shake my head.

We all grab our bags and head towards the Fear Landscape room. The hallway and stairs towards the room is covered in graffiti. "Be Brave" Is in big letters on the top step. I take in a deep breath and repeat to myself; _Be brave, be brave, be brave._

"Whose first?" Shae says, tapping a syringe with her index finger. "C'mon guys, you all have to go today."

I look over to the other end of the room and see Max, Eric, and two other men I don't recognize, beside them sits Jeanine Mathews, they're watching us and have a machine in front of them to see the Fear Landscape how we see it.

I step forward and Shae smiles. "Always the first." She chuckles. "Remember what I said, use your surroundings. I cant pull you out this time." She puts the needle in my neck, I'm immune to the sting by now, she pushes the plunger and quickly moves out of my way.

The room goes dark, looking around I realize I'm in a tunnel, there's a light at the end. I walk towards the light and stop when I see my father and mother standing under the light. They smile and wave so I run towards them, forgetting about the simulation. I'm about five feet away when a hand stops me, I look back and see Shae holding a gun to my head and holding another gun out for me, I take the gun in confusion.

"Shoot them." She says, nodding her head towards my parents.

I waste no time. I hold the gun up and shoot my father then my mother.

_Losing my parents._

I drop the gun, blink the tears away and head for the end of the tunnel. The tunnel drops me into a body of water and I quickly sink to the bottom. The harder I try to swim to the top the further I sink. I remember what Shae said about slowing your heartbeat and I stop fighting to get to the top. Instead I let myself sink, I think of the graffiti and my tattoo. If I get through this I will be _free. _I need to _be brave._

_Drowning._

Instantly the water disappears and I'm coughing, sitting in a chair with my arms tied behind my back and a man standing in front of me. This man looks familiar, he leans down and a grin spreads across his face. Damian.

He stands back up and holds a gun to my head. "You aren't going to be first anymore, Dean Canton. You don't deserve it." He spits.

I start pulling at the rope around my wrists and it falls off, I look up at him when I hear the bullet click into place. Quickly I take advantage of his poor stance and kick him in the groin, as he falls I grab the gun and point it at him.

_Being defenseless._

Suddenly everything, even the gun in my hand, disappears. I'm left alone in a pale room. I shut my eyes and imagine that I'm back in the dorms, that I'm not alone, that I'm not trapped.

_Being alone. _

When I open my eyes I'm in my old room. I stand up from my bed and looks around, everything is how I left it. The photographs on my wall were memories I had cherished, Christmases and birthdays. I look over at my desk and see a Snow globe, It was a gift from my mother for Christmas. I picked it up and examined it. Inside was a little orange and white cat, when you shake it snow flies around, there's a knob at the bottom you can use to wind it up. I turn the knob and the tune for "You are my sunshine" starts to play. I look over as the door opens and a bald man grins at me.

"Don't wake your sister." He steps towards me. "I just got her to-" I interrupt him by smashing the glass of the globe on the side of his head. He lays on the floor, his head surrounded in a pool of his own blood and broken glass, I blink.

_Rape. _

I run out of the room and down the stairs, standing in my living room I feel something crawl up my arm. I look down and see a dark circle of spiders around my feet. They crawl up my legs and stomach, I close my eyes. One slips into my ear and another in my nose. I concentrate on my breathing, on slowing my heart rate. I feel them crawl on my skin, in my shirt, on the back of my neck. _Be brave._

_Spiders._

The crawling goes away and I open my eyes. I run towards my front door and run out, before I have time to realize it I'm hanging by a wire in the dark. The wire is cutting into my palms and I feel blood dripping down my arms. Looking down is a mistake, I look up at the sky and count the stars above me. I imagine I'm laying on the ground of Amity compound with my mother and she's telling me a story of how once we had three suns but two of them got into a fight and destroyed each other. Each star was a piece of the two suns, floating in the sky.

_Heights._

The wire disappears and the sky turns white, I looks around the Fear landscape room. Its over.

I glance at the screen in front of me, my time reads twenty three minutes even.


	13. Chapter 13: Janes Fear Landscape

**A/N OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY. My wifi has been out since Thursday! I wrote up until chapter 17, to make up for my absence I will post more than the usual, today. My editor is very sick, feel better Kaey. **

**ALSO! the 23rd I will update once early in the morning and wont be able to update again until the 30th. I'm going to see my fiancee. The character Jane is actually based off of her, sorta. **

**-Jesse**

Chapter 13: Jane's Fear Landscape.

{Jane's Pov}

I watched Dean as he came out of his Fear Landscape. It was entertaining watching him do what seemed like random actions, we didn't see the content of the fears but got to watch his movements. He didn't seem upset as he exited the area, maybe this was easier than the simulations.

"Whose next?" Shae looks us over.

I raise my hand shakily and walk towards the Landscape area. Shae follows and hands me a ribbon to tie my hair back. I pull my Dark curls back into bun and tie it, she brushes a stray curl away from my neck. "Focus on your breathing, use your surroundings." She smiles as she sticks the needle in my arm and pushes the plunger. I watch as the room transforms into a back ally of Erudite.

The people around me wear clothes of each faction, they're passing around a can of vegetables. A little girl dressed in a yellow Amity shirt and black Dauntless pants passes the can to me and looks like I stabbed her when I don't take it.

"You'll starve if you don't eat." She says with tears in her eyes.

"I'll eat when I get home." I raise an eyebrow.

"Jane, we've told you a dozen times, this is your home." Her mother says, looking over at me.

I look down at my clothes, I'm wearing a gray Abnegation robe and brown Amity pants. How am I factionless. I'm not factionless. I'm Dauntless. I feel my heart pounding in my chest, I take a deep breath. I need to calm down. I close my eyes and take in a long, shaky breath.

The smell of the dirty street fades and I open my eyes, I'm sitting in the back of my Advanced Faction History class. The teacher is passing out papers, he stops at my desk and looks down at me, shaking his head.

"Honestly Jane, how were you even born into Erudite. You're not good enough. You cant even tell me when we elected our first leader." He slams a test down on my desk.

I stand and look at him. "Sir, I'm plenty good enough. With all due respect, nobody should have to memorize a stupid date." I feel the anger in my head, its pounding.

"Think about that the next time you fail a test, then." He spits.

I kick him in the groin and run out of the room.

Instead of walking into the hallway I stand in my kitchen. I walk to the stove and stir the pasta,

"Jane! Up!" My little brother says, holding his arms up to me.

I smile, pick him up and set him on the counter. I run my fingers through his dark curls and kiss his forehead. He giggles and pulls my hair playfully.

"Jane, can I have some milk?" He asks, giving me his best puppy eyes.

"With dinner." I say as I pour the pasta in a drainer. I look over as he jumps off the counter and smacks his head on the tile. A pool of blood is draining out from the back of his skull, I sink to the floor beside him, sobbing uncontrollably. _I should have caught him, why didn't I save him. _

His eyes open and he looks up at me. "Why didn't you catch me?" His voice is almost sadistic.

I shake my head, watching him as I stand.

"Why didn't you save me?" He has his eyes fixed on me.

"I'm sorry." I say as I raise my foot and stomp on his head.

I hear a scream come from in front of me, standing there is my mother and father.

"Get out!" My father screams as he grabs my by the arm. "You are no daughter of mine!"

I punch him in the stomach and run out the front door. I run out into the middle of a crowd and look around, everyone is silent and starring at me. I run through the crowed but after what seems like hours of running I finally collapse. _There is no way out._ I curl myself up into a ball and close my eyes, a scream falling from my lips. I need to calm down, steady my heart beat. I take a deep breath, in through my nose, out through my mouth.

When I open my eyes I'm in a long, dark red dress, Dean is sitting beside me and holding my hand. He stands and pulls me up with him. Dean leads me to a small group of people and starts to introduce me. I start hearing words that sound like thought.

_Her hair is disgusting, she looks like an idiot, why does she have a stupid look on her face, I bet she doesn't understand English._

"Excuse me, can you please stop." I blurt out.

"Stop what?" A man speaks, He's tall with a white mustache and bald head, he's old and his wrinkles prove it.

"Thinking I'm an idiot." I glare and his face goes bright red.

"Excuse me?" He looks like he's been caught stealing.

I step forward and punch him hard in the jaw. As he falls everyone starts chanting.

"Speech, speech, speech."

I walk onto the stage and look around, everyone is watching me. "Well, I- uh- dont have anything prepared."

"You suck." A voice calls out.

I slam my fist on the podium. "You get up here and try to make a speech on the spot in front of hundreds of people and tell me how it feels." I slam my fist again but the podium isn't there this time. I look down and see a dog, foaming at the mouth. I take a step back, keeping my eye on the dog. _Don't keep eye contact. _I look at the paws of the dog but look back up as it jumps at me. Quickly I turn and kick the dog in the ribs, It falls to the floor, not moving.

The room goes dark, not a dimly lit dark, a pitch black dark. I sit and hug my knees. "Hello?" My voice croaks.

Nothing answers, not even a sound. I take in a deep breath, this will all be over soon. I squeeze my eyes shut, when I open them I look up at the time clock.

_Thirty one minutes and twelve seconds._

I run out of the area and throw my arms around Dean, he wraps me in his arms and carries me out of the fear landscape room.


	14. Chapter 14: Damians Fear Landscape

**A/N Surprise! The mystery person was Damian. . I guess that's a surprise.**

**He doesn't have many fears so this is short. Tell me what fears you think he has and I'll give you a shout out tomorrow.**

**-Jesse**

Chapter 14: Damian's Fear Landscape.

{Damian's POV}

That little bitch Jane screamed as loud as humanly possible during her Fear landscape, it was funny. I don't understand fear, whats the use of it?

"Next?" Shae calls out, her eyes fall on me.

I sigh and walk forward. I have to beat Dean, his time was twenty three minutes, he thinks he's so much better than everyone. If I become factionless my mother will win. Her last words to me ring through my head. _You're nothing, you're going to be factionless. _I wont let her win.

Shae watches my face as she sticks my neck with the needle, she wants to see me wince but I wont let her. Pain is something I don't feel, not anymore.

I sit in the living room of my old Candor home, my dog gypsy on my lap. I hear heavy footsteps pounding their way down the hallway, looking up I see my mom. She grins at me, this was never good.

"Damian, why did you kill your dog?" She cackles.

"What?" I ask in confusion. Before I have a chance to stop her my mother stabs gypsy in the ribcage with an ice pick, I start to cry.

"What did I say about crying!" She demands. "Its untruthful!" She smacks me across the face, picks me up by the collar of my shirt and throws me to ground.

I stand quickly, showing as much pain as I could. If I don't show the pain she wont stop, she likes it. She steps forward, grabs me by the neck and pushes me against the wall. I feel the breath caught in my throat, I know that if I fake being unconscious she'll whip me for lying. I also know that if I do go unconscious she'll whip me anyway. I watch her face, a smirk spreading across her face.

"Is the little liar going to cry?" she asks with a fake tone of sympathy.

I feel the blood rushing to my head, its pounding in my skull. "NO!" I scream out and kick her as hard as I can in stomach.

As I hit the floor the surroundings change, I'm laying in a hospital bed, I try to lift my arm but its too heavy, or maybe I'm weak. _I'm weak. _

I close my eyes and count to ten, with each number I slow my breathing. As I open my eyes I'm sitting by the hospital bed, laying there is a baby wrapped in pink. I pick her up and smile, she has blue eyes and a full head of blonde hair.

"Lets go find your mommy and daddy." I say, smiling down at her. I stand start towards the door, a nurse opens it as I reach for it and smiles at me.

"Looks like daddy woke up." The nurse smiles at me.

"What?" I ask, thoroughly confused. "You must have the wrong person." I start to hand her the baby and she back away.

"Damian Xavier, correct?" I nod to answer her question.

"That would be your baby." She turns and walks out.

"There must be a mistake, miss." I say but the nurse is already gone.

The baby starts to cry as I feel myself panicking. I set her down and close my eyes. I cant have a baby, I cant be a father, I'll just leave like my own. Her mother will hurt her. I cant have a baby, _I cant_. I take in a deep breath and let it out, the crying stops and I open my eyes.

I'm laying in my cot in the dorm room, the lights are dim. I close my eyes and turn over onto my back. I feel something soft over my face, pushing down on me. I cant breathe, I'm suffocating. I reach out to grab my attacker but find nothing. My brain is going fuzzy, I'm dying. I kick my leg out and hit someone in the side, the pillow falls to the floor, I stand and wail every bit of strength into punching my attacks face.

The simulation ends.

The time in front of me reads twenty three minutes and forty six seconds.


	15. Chapter 15:Initiation Is Over

**A/N Another short chapter, I wanted to keep this separate from the others. I'll have the next chapter up in a bit.**

**Enjoy :)**

**-Jesse **

Chapter 15: Initiation is over.

When Jane finished her Fear Landscape she ran to me and I carried our duffel bags (and her) to the pit. She sat on my lap with her face pressed to my neck for what felt like forever. Slowly people started to pile in, the Fear Landscapes were over from what I understood. Alan sat beside me and looked at Jane who was asleep, he raised an eyebrow and I shrugged gently so I didn't wake her. Everyone talked amongst themselves, talking about their times for the Fear Landscape and the times of other people. Alan said I had the shortest time, he laughed and insisted I was some sort of prodigy.

"So, everyone, I'd like to congratulate our initiates, you've made it through initiation." Max said as he stood on a stage in the center, his voice hushed the others. "But unfortunately, only ten of you are officially Dauntless. In a moment a list of names will be on the screen behind me, if your name is not on the list I need you to cooperate. You need to leave the Dauntless compound, you will be disposed of if you do not comply. Do not bring us to that."

I shake Jane awake and she rubs her eyes then looks up at Max.

"I must inform you that being in first rank comes with perks, you are given the benefit of choosing your place of residency and desired job before any other, you are also given the option to be a trainer three weeks out of the year. The perk of being a trainer is either a blessing or a curse, you can make it what you want." He smiles and steps down.

A list appears on the screen he was in front of.

1: Dean Canton

2: Damian Xavier

3: Jane Holly

4: Taylor Reed

5: Alan Lee

6: Bentley Tanner

7: Jenny Kale

8: Zach Lucian

9: Ava Prat

10: James Duran

I scanned the list making sure the important people were all there and smiled as I saw they were.

"Dean Canton, please go to the side of the stage and register you preferences before the other Dauntless are allowed to make theirs." Shae's voice rang through the commotion of cheers and whistles. It took a moment to click, I was first.

Jane kissed my jaw and hugged me then got off my lap and I stood. I made my way through the crowed and sat at a table across from Eric.

"Ah, you're Canton." He smirks and pushes a paper towards me.

I ignore his comment and skim through it.

Jobs:

1: Leader

2: Representative

3: Controls

4: Nurse

5: Tattooist

6: Compound guard

7: Compound guard

8: Gate

9: Gate

10: Gate

I check a box beside "Tattooist", it would be interesting to work in the parlor. I skim through the apartments and pick a studio, the photos looked nice, I could see myself spending a lifetime there. My pen hovers above the box to be a trainer. I could be like Shae, she seemed to enjoy Initiation, I check the box and hand him the form. He checks the apartment number and shakes my hand.

" I look forward to seeing you around, congratulations." He smiles and hands me a key.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

I set my duffel on the bed and look around, this is all mine. I wont have to deal with Amity anymore. I'm free. I look down at the tattoo on my forearm, I remember the day I got it. I was scared I would wind up not making it. That I would become factionless, that I would be a coward. I smile and lay on the bed, looking up at the skylight. This was the reason I chose this apartment, I could watch the sky. The story of the way the stars were created came into my mind and I closed my eyes.

I must have drifted off because when I woke up the sky had a clear array of stars in it. I look over at the time and remember I was taking Jane to dinner at 9, its 8:56. I jump up quickly and put my shoes on. I walk out my door then across the hall. I knock on her door and she opens it quickly, Jane was always stunning to me. She could be covered in mud and I'm sure I would still think she is the most beautiful girl in the world.


	16. Chapter 16: Samuel

Chapter 16: Samuel.

"Hey." I say, out of breath even though I haven't been running.

She blushes and smiles. "Hey."

She was more dressed up than I was; she was wearing a black dress that covered her upper chest in lace and came to a collar around her neck along with a dark red cardigan draped over her shoulders. Compared to my usual black pants and black shirt, she was fancy. Before I get the chance to say anything else she grabs my hand and starts down the hallway, pulling me.

I laced my fingers with hers and she leaned against me as we walked.

"I forgot to ask, what job did you choose?" I look at her.

"Nurse, I know a lot about medical junk. You?" She looks at me.

"Tattoo parlor and training." I smile at her.

"Oh? Gonna give me a tattoo?" She nudges me with her elbow.

"Come in next week and we'll discuss that."

I walk her to the restaurant and we decide to get take out. We order rice and chicken with a sweet red sauce and walk out with boxes in our hands. We exit HQ and head towards the tracks, I help her on and get on after. The train takes us past an old carnival and we jump, both of us landing on our feet. The best part of initiation being over is that we can leave the compound. We walk onto a merry-go- round and sit in the middle.

"Did you expect to be first?" she asks, taking a bite of her food.

I shake me head. "I expected you or Damian. I still cant believe they let that psychopath stay, though."

"I heard Shae and Eric discussing his Fear Landscape, from what I understand he's had a rough childhood." She looks at me for a moment and wipes something off my bottom lip.

"Doesn't give him an excuse to be an ass." I shrug and watch her.

She bites her lip and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "Maybe he doesn't mean to be, he could be trying to prove something."

I shake my head and continue eating. Why is she defending him, does she like him? Am I just being jealous? Probably.

When we finish eating I pull her out into the grass so she can see the sky. We lay there, starring up at the night sky, hand in hand.

"My mom use to tell me a story about how the stars were made. I thought of it in my Fear Landscape." I say.

"Tell it to me?" She looks over at me.

"She said that millions of years ago we had three suns." I say as she turns on her side and rests her head on my shoulder. "The first sun was in love with the second sun, the third sun was in love with the second sun too, but the second sun was in love with the moon. Because the second sun was only out in the day and the moon was only out at night the sun had given up on love. The first and third sun wanted the second so bad that they had begun to bicker, they were butting heads constantly. One day they got into a fight," As I spoke she listened to me intently, like any born Erudite would, she was studying everything in the story. "The second sun was sick of breaking up fights and let them argue. When they collided the two suns exploded. My mom said that every star in the sky at night was pieces of the two suns, sent to the moon, to prove the loyalty the second sun held. The second sun only wanted the moon." I look at her and she smiles.

"That's a sweet story." She giggles and kisses me gently.

I feel her smile against my lips as she kisses me deeper, I wrap my arms around her and pull her on top of me so she's straddling me. She looks down at me and bites her lip nervously. I smile and put my hand on her jaw, I pull her back down and she kisses me hard. Her hand finds its way up my shirt and rests on my chest as I kiss her passionately.

Our kiss is interrupted by a light _mew_ sound_. _She sits up, still on top of me and looks around.

"Did you hear a cat?" She looks down at me.

I sit up on my elbows and look around. "Yeah, I wonder if its okay."

She stands and helps me up, I hear something by the merry-go-round and walk over. There's a long tail hanging out of my rice box. I bend down and instantly a tiny cat pulls its head out of the box and stares up at me then makes the sound again.

"Well hello there mister cat. I don't think rice is a good nutritional choice for you." I chuckle and pick it up, It's fur is short and soft with an orange tiger pattern. You can easily tell this cat is just a baby based on its size- maybe ten weeks old.

"Did you find it?" Jane asks, watching me turn around.

"I'm not leaving it out here, I don't care about what trouble I get in." I say as I lead Jane back to the track.

"You were ranked first, I don't think you'd get in trouble for a kitten." She laughs.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

We sit in my apartment, the kitten in her lap. We checked and it turns out to be a boy.

"Samuel?" She asks, rubbing the kittens head.

I nod and smile. "Seems to fit." I pick him up and lay so my head is in her lap, I set him on my chest and he curls up.

She smiles down at me and runs her fingers through my short black hair.

**A/N I was petting my kitty when I wrote this, he's not much of a kitten anymore though. OOOOOHHHH how I wish he was. He use to be cute, about six years ago. **

**-Jesse**


	17. Chapter 17: Congratulations

Chapter 17: Congratulations.

Our group sat in the dining hall, Dauntless food was better than any food we could make in our apartments.

"I was thinking of throwing a party to celebrate, get a bunch of people together and drink." Zach said as he took a sip of his coffee.

"You'd be the clean up crew, your idea, your mess." Alan said, looking at him. They moved in together when they picked their place of residency, they seem to work well together,

"Well of course." Zach laughed. "Would you guys come?" He said, looking at Jane and I. I'm not sure why he asked us in a pair, we aren't officially together, we just occasionally kiss and she slept over last night. She must have sensed my thoughts.

"I will, I'm not sure about him though." She nudged me.

"Sure, why not." I smiled

"Great! It'll start at eight." He stood and threw away his trash then walked out of the dining hall.

I stand as well.

"Where are you running off to?" Alan asked in protest.

"I need to get a few things and stop by the parlor." Now that initiation is over we had three days to settle in before we had to work. During initiation I accumulated points and got bonus for being first, which is good because my apartment needed a few things.

"Can I come?" Ava asked which earned her a glare from Jane, good thing Ava didn't see it.

"Yeah." I threw my things away and walked out of the dining hall, Ava at my heels.

I thought I would get out of being dragged to every store, I thought wrong. After about the seventh store she had everything she could possibly need and I had one bag with kitchen supplies in it.

"You're such a minimalist." She sighed.

"Is that a complaint?" I laugh and look at her.

"I wish you would just make it official already." She said as we walked into the tattoo parlor.

"What do you mean?" I raise my eyebrow and sit on a cot.

"Jane, she likes you, you like her." She sat in a chair beside the cot and watched me take off my shirt and lay back.

A man walked in and I explained what I wanted, he nodded, drew up the pattern and hooked the machine up to my side, this one was larger in size and covered my entire side. He left the room and said he would be back in an hour to check it.

"You're not getting out of this conversation, Dean Canton." Ava protested.

"I don't know what you expect me to do about it. The topic hasn't come up between us before." I sighed, feeling a slight sting in my side. The machine lit up and went dark repeatedly, like a copier.

"After all the kissing and sex, the conversation never came up?" She raised her eyebrow.

"Wait, what? Sex?" At this point I was thoroughly confused.

She gasped. "Oh my god, you haven't had sex with her?"

I shook my head, still confused.

"Shit, Dean. Why haven't you?" She paused. "Is it about your uncle?"

I laughed. "No, It's just never come to that."

She chuckled and shook her head. The rest of the time I laid there we talked about initiation. Ava had the apartment beside mine, she took the job as representative for Dauntless. She leaves with the Leader, Alan, whenever he has to go to a big meeting, or goes by herself to the lesser meetings. She talks about how she cant wait to see her family in Abnegation and how she misses the people there, but she loves Dauntless. I cant help but wonder, if she wouldn't have had an option for Dauntless, would she have stayed in Abnegation? She wasn't running from anything, not like me.

The man walks in and peels the machine off my side, I stand and look in the full body mirror. I have Dauntless flames starting at my hip and going over my ribs. Ava throws me my shirt and I put it on.

We walk out of the parlor and back to the apartments, she says she'll see me at eight and we depart. I walk into my apartment to find Jane curled up with Samuel on the couch, she's asleep. I smile to myself and sit in front of her on the floor. Samuel wakes up for a moment to look at me but slowly falls back asleep. I run my fingers over her cheek bone and bite my lip.

"Jane, wake up." I lean down so my mouth is close to her ear. "We need to talk." I hear her groan and giggle.

"That tickles, stop it." she mumbles, I look down and see Samuel licking her arm. "Sammy, stop it." She giggles again. I watch Jane stretch and she looks up at me.

"We need to talk about something." I say and she nods, looking terrified. "What are we?"

"Human, unless you have a biopsy I refuse to think otherwise." she giggles.

"No, I mean, relationship wise." I watch her face.

"Are you asking me to be in a relationship with you, Dean?" She asks and I slowly nod my head. A smile spreads across her lips and she wraps her arms across my neck then kisses my cheek.

"Of course." she whispers in my ear like its a secret.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

Jane and I stand outside Zach and Alan's apartment, I can hear loud music. Zach opens the door and tries to steady himself, he's drunk.

"You guys are just in time! We're about to play a game!" He yells over the music. Alan walks over and guides Zach back to circle of people. We follow and the music is turned down.

Jane and I sit beside Ava, she hands us both drinks and smiles.

"Who wants to start?" A Dauntless born asks, I don't recognize him from initiation.

Ava speaks up. "Zach! Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless." He chuckles, trying to contain his drunk self.

A grin finds itself on Ava's face, the wheels turning in her head. "Make out with Alan."

A laugh falls out of Alan's mouth. "If he throws up on me, you had better throw yourself in the chasm before I catch you." With that Alan pulls Zach onto his lap.

"I wont throw up on you." Zach says as he smooshes Alan's cheeks together. "You are so cute."

Alan takes Zach's hands and puts them on his chest, he wraps his arms around Zach and kisses him hungrily. A few whistles and cat calls come from around the circle along with laughs as Zach presses against Alan and kisses him harder. When the two break apart Ava giggles.

Zach sits back down beside Alan and scans the circle, his eyes fall on me. Out of about twenty people, his eyes fall on me. This is not going to be good.

"Dean, Candor or Dauntless." He grins.

I sigh, better prove my bravery now and allow Zach decide my fate. "Dauntless."

"I guess I should keep the make out train going." He laughs. "Make out with Jane."

I roll my eyes. "Couldn't think of anything better?"

"Hey, don't blame me, Ava started it." He smirks.

I pull Jane onto my lap so she straddles me. "Dean." She whispers.

I look up at her, her cheeks are red. "No?"

She shakes her head and kisses my cheek. I'm not going to make her uncomfortable, I let her get out of my lap and take off my shirt, that being the rule of the game. I look at her, her eyes are scanning my body. I realize I haven't been shirtless in front of her but once and that was in the dark. An eruption of "Boo"'s come from the circle but I don't care. It's my responsibility to make her happy and if she's not comfortable with it then I'm not either.

I lean back on my hands and look around the room, I see Shae and cant help myself. "Shae, Candor or Dauntless."

"Dauntless, of course." She looks surprised that I even asked.

"I dare you to go chug that entire bottle of vodka." I smirk and motion to the bottle.

"Only if you promise not to let me make stupid decisions afterwords." She says as she reaches over and grabs a bottle off of the table then pops it open, I nod. Shae winks over at me and starts chugging the bottle like its water, I pick up my cup of whatever beverage Ava gave me and chug with her, Jane following my lead, Ava following hers. We finish our drinks before Shae finishes hers, but when she finishes she turns the bottle over so we see its empty. She grins at us. Our trainer just drank an entire bottle of vodka in front of us, we all cheer.

The game continues and I feel Jane running her fingers along the flames, she has the same look she did when I took her to the pub. Ava gives us refills, my guess is there's alcohol in it because I start to feel unusually light after the third one. After the game ends everyone stands and breaks off into little groups, some dancing, others talking and drinking. I stand and put my shirt back on but stop when I feel her kiss between my shoulder blades.

"Thank you." She whispers in my ear. Her breath smelled like fruity, like the drinks we had been given.

I blush and turn around to look at her, she leans against the table and pulls me to her. Before I have time to stop myself she wraps her arms around my neck and presses her lips to mine for a hard kiss. I kiss her deeply and wrap my arms around her. My tongue runs along her bottom lip slightly and she kisses me passionately, pulling me as close as she can. My brain clicks back to reality, she's drunk. She wouldn't want to do this in public if she was sober. I put my hand on her cheek and break the kiss.

"Later." I whisper against her lips. She looks up at me and nods.


	18. Chapter 18: To Be Dauntless

**A/N I got a review suggesting a love triangle between Shae, Dean and Jane. I guess we'll have to wait and see. ;) **

**I love getting reviews, they make my day. I'm having a little trouble with myself lately. Writing has become my escape, although this fic has kind of brought some things up from my past It's helping me deal with them. Thank you for the reviews and favorites and follows. There isn't many of you but I appreciate every one of you. **

**I think I love you, I'm just waiting till I'm sure to tell you. **

**-Jesse**

Chapter 18: To Be Dauntless.

I picked Jane up and carried her back to my apartment. While I walked she spent her time kissing and biting my neck. I remind myself she's drunk as I set her on my bed. She smiles up at me and grabs me by my shirt then pulls me down on top of her. Her lips meet mine and she kisses me deeply. Her hands slip under my shirt and move up my back, I kiss deeper. Jane bites my bottom lip and waits for me to raise my arms so she can take off my shirt. When I don't raise them she looks up at me, breaking the kiss.

"Dean, arms, now." She says persistently.

"No, not yet." I look down at her. Her face seems to droop like a balloon loosing its air, she looks away.

I stand and walk to the kitchen. "I'm not having sex with you while you're drunk, not the first time."

She gets up and follows me, trying to walks straight, then sits at the small kitchen table. "I'm not drunk." She manages to say almost convincingly.

I smile and shake my head, making a pot of coffee. When its done brewing I pour her a mug full and sit beside her. Watching her take a sip, she makes a funny face.

"Black?" She looks at me.

"It'll make you feel better in the morning when you wake up." I stand and walk to the closet, I pull out a pair of sweat pants and strip then put them on.

I find her some clothes to change into so she doesn't have to find her way across the hall to her apartment. Leaving them on the bed, I walk to to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I return she's laying in bed, dressed in my running shorts and black shirt. I lay behind her to my chest is pressed to her shoulder blades. She sighs into me when my arms wrap around her.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

I sit in the tattoo parlor, waiting for our customers to come in. I've already pushed needles through ears, noses, lips, and some unmentionable areas. It's only been a couple hours and I've done 38 tattoos, the Dauntless don't fuck around when it comes to body art.

"Hey." Zach says as he walks in. He took up the job as Dauntless compound guard so he patrols the compound, making sure nobody is dying.

"Getting anything?" I ask, he nods and hands me a sheet of paper with the Dauntless Manifesto printed on it.

"Down my spine."

I lead him to the room closest to the front so I can see anyone else walk in. He lays on the cot and takes off his shirt then lays on his stomach. I think of how when we were little we would draw on each other with markers so we had tattoos, Zach would always ask that I put scribbles down his spines and said it was the Dauntless Manifesto. I stick the machine on and slip the paper into a slot, the machine does a quick scan of the area and I sit beside him.

"I never thought I actually would be here." He says, his head turned so he can look at me.

"It's strange, just yesterday we were planning our escape from Amity and now we've already escaped." I nod as I speak.

"How does it feel?" He asks. "To be Dauntless."

I understand his question and smile to myself. "I feel free." I don't have to go back. I wont ever have to sit in that room and think about everything that happened. I wont have to deal with my moms face every time I flinch away when she tries to hug me.

"Do you ever wonder what they're doing without us?" He asks, he has a way of seeing right through me. Like a big brother, he can tell when I'm hurting or hiding, he can tell I miss them.

I nod. "All the time."

The door to the parlor dings so I know someone else is walking in, I leave Zach there and walk out to help the next customer. They explain they want another unmentionable piercing, I've seen more genitals today than I have ever wanted to see before.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

At lunch I walk down to the infirmary with food for Jane and I. We sit in the hall, her legs draped over my lap, eating sandwiches. She tells me about Damian freaking out in the dining hall when a girl patted his back. Jane says that they had to sedate him and he's been passed out in his hospital room since.

"He's been talking." She says as she stands and throws away our trash.

"What is he saying?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Things about his mother. Saying he's not crying but his body actually is, I don't think his mom was a nice woman. The other nurses over heard her yelling at him on visiting day about how he's going to wind up factionless and then they saw her hit him." She pauses for a moment. "And not like a slap, Dean, she punched him."

I shook my head and rubbed my face with my hands. She kissed me gently before walking back into the infirmary.

I take my time walking back to the parlor, turning the conversation with Jane over in my head like a stone about to be thrown. Damian's mother was abusive, physically and mentally. She was in his fear landscape, that's what Eric and Shae were talking about. Maybe he needs somebody- I shake that thought from my head immediately.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

I collapse on my bed, 104 tattoo's, 97 piercings. Jane lays on my back and kisses my shoulder. We fall asleep like this.


	19. Chapter 19: Intimacy

**A/N Hey guys, I'm back. Tonight (Its 4:20 AM) has been really hard for me. I needed to get my mind off of shit so enjoy Jane and Deans first time being intimate. There is some adult content in this so please don't read it unless you want to. **

**Enjoy,**

**Jesse.**

Chapter 19: Intimacy.

The parlor was quiet, empty. I closed down a few minutes ago and waited for Jane to arrive so we could go get a late dinner. Sitting in the silence gave me too much space to think. I looked at my arms that were now paler than they were when I arrived at the Dauntless compound. I missed Amity, but I would never admit that out loud. Dauntless was my home, I fit in here, I love it here. But my family is in Amity, the people who raised me. I thought of my sister. She'll be going through initiation soon, I have no doubt that she'll stay in Amity. Diana always belonged there, she loved the flowers and the smiles that people had. She found joy in nature, where as I would rather sit in my room in the silence. Even then, it gave me too much time to think.

"Mr. Canton?" Jane's voice rang through the shop.

"Back here." I called out as I wiped down the last chair with disinfectant.

She walked to the doorway and leaned against the doorway, as I turned to look at her she smiled.

"Are you accepting any pop in customers?" She asked, running her fingers through her long, dark curls.

I motioned for her to sit and she complied.

"What would you like?" I asked, grabbing a sketch pad.

She took off her tank top, unhooked her bra and rolled over on her stomach. "Dauntless flames from here-" she pointed to where her black jeans stopped, on the small of her back. "to here." she pointed to the back of her neck, directly under her hair line.

I nodded and drew up the flames then applied the machine which was built for this type of art so it completely covered her back. I put the piece of paper in the slot and pressed the button, the machine lit up and faded repeatedly. The silence was thick in the room, like fog.

"Whats on your mind?" she asked, breaking the silence after a moment.

"Nothing, why?" I said with a smile.

She smiled back. "you got your thinking face on."

I shook my head and looked down. "I want to go see my family."

"Tomorrow?"

"I dunno. Maybe in a couple days, I should think it over." I sighed. "It's probably not a very good idea."

"You're their son, Dean." she raised her brow.

"Yeah well, they didn't come on visiting day."

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

Jane and I walked back from dinner, laughing about our waiter who tripped and spilled the drinks down my back near the end of our meal. Jane put her hand on my back and giggled.

"You're going to have to change." She smiled at me.

I nodded and laughed, opening my apartment door and closing it after Jane and I were both inside. Her hand gripped the front of my shirt and a smirk found itself on her lips. I rested my hand on her cheek and kissed her slowly as she pulled my to the bed. I lifted my arms and she moved her hands up my sides, pulling the shirt up and off as she did. When it hit the floor it sounded like a soaked mop. We smiled against each others lips.

Moving my hand down the side of her neck, her hands found themselves at the waist of my jeans. She unbuttoned them and nipped at my neck, sending cold chills down my spine, I suppressed a shiver. I pulled her tank top off and ran my hands down her sides to her hips. Jane kissed my collar bone as I picked her up and laid her in the bed. I unbuttoned her pants and slipped them off along with a pair of lace panties. She pulled me down on top of her and rolled over so she looked down at me. She kissed me deeply and shoved my pants off, I felt her fingers playing with the waist of my boxers and a grin against my lips. She was teasing me. I felt myself getting hard, she must have noticed because she pulled my boxers off quickly as if the wait had been too long. I unhooked her bra, threw it on the floor, and rolled back over so I was on top of her.

Jane wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me against her. I pressed my chest to hers and kissed her passionately. The kiss wasn't hungry, it was calm, but had more angst and affection than any other kiss we had shared. I pushed into her slowly until our hips had contact with each other and smiled as I heard her gasp lightly. Her hands tightened their grip on my back and released slowly, letting her fingers run down my back shakily. She kissed me deeply, one of her hands moving up to the back of my head.

Every movement gave me a different reaction from her and I loved it. Every push and she would lose her breath. I felt her moan against my neck and again on my jaw as she kissed and bit me. The harder I went the louder her moans, the faster- the harder she would bite. I felt her nails digging into my back and heard her breath go shallow.

"Dean." She moaned, digging her nails in deeper.

She pressed her forehead to my jaw and moaned loudly, I could feel her having an orgasm. I pressed my hips to hers, letting out my own moan, and came as she did.

Her grip on my back loosened, instead I felt a stinging sensation where her nails were. She moved her hands up my chest and looked up at me. Jane smiled. I've seen this smile before during initiation. After she got a bulls-eye while training with the guns, she smiled. It was a smile of satisfaction. She kissed me deeply and put one of her hands on the back of my neck. I kissed back, trying to keep my breath from shaking.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

I woke up with Jane on her stomach, she had one leg hiked up and the other nearly straight. I've learned that this is her favorite sleeping position. I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her back against my chest. She stretched and pressed her bum into my groin, turning so shes on her side. We didn't get dressed last night so this got an unprepared reaction and she giggled. I kissed her neck softly, biting as lightly as I could. She sighed.

"Dean, we have to work." she said, although she wasn't stopping me.

I trailed my fingers down her tummy, enjoying another sigh that falls from her lips. She grabs my hand as I brush my fingers across her pubic area.

"Dean. Work, ten minutes to get ready." she says, her breath shaking just like her hand.

I nod, kiss the side of her head, and get out of bed. I hear Jane giggle and look back at her.

"What?" I raise my brow.

"Your back..." She stands and walks over, licks her thumb and wipes something off my back. "I made you bleed a little last night."


	20. Chapter 20: Don't go

Chapter 20: Don't go.

When I returned home this evening there was a piece of paper on my fridge.

Dean,

I cant stay here anymore. Its too dangerous. Don't mention this note to anyone. I couldn't leave without telling you goodbye. Don't look for me, you won't find me.

I'm sorry,

Jane.

I held the paper in my hand for a moment, slowly starting to shake. My throat felt tense, it ached. My knees gave out and I slumped to the floor, the room went blurry and a sob escaped me.

What was happening? _She's leaving. No, she left. _Why is she leaving? _She doesn't want me anymore._

I wiped my face and shook my head then got off of the floor. _Why did I let her in. _

I laid in my bed and closed my eyes. A nose pressed to my cheek and my eyes opened. Wide whiskey coloured eyes stared at me. Sammy meowed and curled up beside me. I thought of the night we picked him up, I told her the story of the stars. I could feel her kiss me again and squeezed my eyes shut. My breath was shaky and another sob caught in my throat like it was clogged. Shaking my head again I sat up and sighed.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

"Another?" The bartender asked, holding the bottle of tequila.

I had already had six shots but couldn't feel anything. "Three more."

He poured the shots and added it onto my tab, I finished the shots before he clicked his pen to write down my previous order. The bartender shook his head.

"How about a real drink?" He laughed, his eyes smiled as he did. He was tall and had shoulder length blue hair that faded into white near the tips. His eyebrows had three piercings in each and he had a ring hanging from the center of his nose.

I shrugged and he poured some liquor into a glass along with orange juice.

"So, top of your initiate group?" He asked as he set the tall glass in front of me.

"yeah." I sighed and took a long drink.

"Then whats the problem?" He leaned against the counter, watching me as I shook my head. "Girls?"

"Sure."

"What about them?"

"You let them in and they leave like it never happened."

He chuckled, I don't know whats funny. He refilled my now empty glass and spoke through a laugh. "That's the game, I'm afraid. You just didn't keep score. You didn't know who made it to the end first. Looks like she did, so she left you. Loser does clean up, winner gets the trophy."

I nodded and looked down. She said something about it being too dangerous, she didn't have a choice.

"Can there be two losers?" I looked at him and chugged the drink.

"Possibly." He said as I went to stand. "You'll make it through, don't worry, man."

I took out my card and held it out to him, swaying slightly, I can feel the alcohol now. He smiled and shook his head.

"Its on the house." He held his hand up to stop my protest. "I got it, don't worry."

I smiled thankfully and walked out of the pub, trying not to fall. I found my way to the chasm and looked down at the water. If I jump in its instant death, that sounded so appealing.

"Going for a swim?" I heard Shae's voice ask from behind me.

"Maybe." my mouth answered before I had a chance to think.

She sighed and put her hand on my shoulder then stood beside me. "Don't be a coward, Dean."

I shook my head and went to step up on the railing but she pulled me back down to the path, grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the apartments. My eyes watched the floor beneath my feet.

Everything went black.

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

When I opened my eyes I was laying in the infirmary, Zach and Alan stood on one side with Ava on the other. They were discussing Shae's condition but paused when they realized I was awake.

"Dean..." Ava looked at me and smiled weakly.

I went to sit up but Ava stopped me.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice like a croak.

"You don't remember?" Alan looked shocked.

I shook my head and looked down.

They explained that I attacked Shae, that Zach had to pull me off of her. They said that I had beat her until she didn't move then long after that. By the time Zach had got to me her nose was broken and I had her blood all over me. As they talked my mind grabbed anything that I could remember. I remembered her pulling me away from the chasm, then her screams telling me to stop. I remembered her grabbing for my hand and watching her eyes close, I remember counting the number of hits she took. 72.

My mind buzzed, I could taste the alcohol in my mouth and closed my eyes. I hurt her, my friend, my trainer. I got out of the bed and walked to the restroom then sat in front of the toilet. As I threw up what felt like my entire stomach I pictured her face. Shae pleading me to stop. Ava sat beside of me and rubbed my back.

"She has a concussion and a broken nose, cheek bone and fractured jaw." She paused. "But she's alive."

"Am I in trouble?" I knew it was selfish but I asked anyway.

"She's not pressing charges." Ava shook her head.

"Am I allowed to see her?"

Ava nodded. "She's been asking for you."

I stood and walked to the sink, rinsed my mouth out and looked in the mirror. My cheek was bruised and I had stitches on my neck.

"She scratched you, she was trying to bring you back to reality." Ava looked down.

They lead me to the room that Shae was in and let me go in alone.

Shae's face was swollen and bruised, her neck had bruises all around it, but she still smiled at me.

"I'm sorry." I sat beside her bed and watched the floor.

Shae put her hand on my cheek. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. I know it wasn't you."

I looked at her. How can someone be this forgiving? I nearly killed her and she's prepared to forgive me easily. I felt my stomach churn and tried to ignore the feeling.

"Sometimes we drink to remember." Shae paused and coughed. "But I have a feeling you were drinking to forget."

I watched her, she knew.

"She'll come back eventually, I promise." She continued.

I shook my head. "I wont be here when she comes back."

Shae watched me for a moment and put her hand on my shoulder. I heard her screams once more.

"Don't be a coward. She had to go or she would have been dead." Shae whispered.

_She knows._

XxX{PAGE BREAK}XxX

I sat in the middle of my apartment and looked around. It was empty. I hate this feeling.

**A/N THHHEEEE EEEENNNNNDDDD**

**WAIT**

**HOLD UP**

***SURPRISE MUSIC***

**By the end of tonight I will have a chapter posted to a new story. Part two of this one. Leave me reviews and tell me what you would like to see! In part two you will see the next group of initiates from Deans point of view. **

**Thank you guys for enjoying my story, it means a lot. What did you think of the ending? **

**Alright, I'm positive, I love you.**

**-Jesse.**


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